Skip to main content

When I realized what I was doing!.....

You start adoring someone, it could be your first day in college, office or anywhere else in this diminutive world. There is a very fine line between loving or adoring someone. Generally, we draw a conclusion that if we love him/her unconditionally then he/she should also understand that. How could someone be so egotistic that he/she is only thinking about him/herself and not about the other person?

At one point of time in my life, I went through the same phase. I started liking one girl who was certainly not very much interested in me, but I expressed my selfishness to literally force her to say yes to me. Now there are many cases to explain this, one could be the case that she was my good friend so she thought to give it a chance at least. Second could be that she was going through a difficult time with her boyfriend and she needed someone who could take care of her, not for the time pass but to really make her feel good. I guess I took advantage of that to let her say yes. Really, how selfish it could be?

That relationship survived for three years with lots of ups and downs but ended eventually because of very stupid reasons. Let's not get into the details of how it ended and why, but discuss the real theory which goes behind that.

Frankly speaking, I loved that girl a lot. Whatever she says or will say, there is no doubt that I liked her very much. She still loves to talk to me. Even, we occasionally see each other when I go to Delhi. Then why my relationship didn't last?

I guess I suffocated everything. I over reacted with my emotions, I let her play with my weaknesses, and I asked her literally to let me depend on her emotionally. My priority list always started from her. Moreover,  my life events followed a priority order where she was always at first place followed by other things. I'm not saying that she took an advantage of that, but she never really asked for that also. It had been me only all the time who let her make those levels where I was ready to do everything for her.

But it was not at all intentional, I was really in love with her. I never deleted even a single picture of her, I still have her bangle she forgot in my bag in 2012, and I still have a backup of all the chats we did on our mobile phones. It was unthinkable to even delete her single message because I used to read them when she was busy with some other work. The wrapper of the first chocolate I gifted her, the first time when I proposed her and she rejected, empty bottles of perfumes she gifted me; I have everything with me. Why I still keep those things & moments? Because I really loved her. I know I forced her in an adaptive conscious to be open to any new idea of loving me because  I was always obsessed with the idea of only loving her and I felt proud that I loved her beyond boundaries. I think this led to an end of my story.

But why I'm writing all this? I know because today one girl is in love with me and I feel her state when she says that she loves to read my messages when I'm busy. That moment makes me feel bad because I totally understand her situation and is not able to say anything, but

" Don't love me this much, you'll feel bad when you won't get this much in return". 

This is a harsh reality of life. As quoted by Audrey Niffenegger (The Time traveler's Wife): 

" It's hard being left behind. It's hard to be the one who stays."

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thank You NITIE! and Mumbai Meri Jaan!

On 11 th June 2015, NITIE’s admission office released 4 th  list of cleared students for PGDIM batch 2015-17. Boom!! I got the last seat … sheer luck I guess. That feeling was just splendid when I got a call from my friend who is studying in IIM Lucknow that Bhai! Ho gea tera. Time was 4:20 PM and I was working on my new project. After that call I started calling my closed ones. I can still feel that moment because when you’re a supply chain and operations enthusiast and you get admission to best B-school in that domain then nothing else can explain your happiness. NITIE is best among all B-schools let it be IIM A, B, C or any else when it comes to supply chain and operations. Big question, Why MBA?  was answered and that too in style. Oh my God! How would that be to go to classes again, meeting new people, living in Mumbai, doing new assignments, late night chats, parties and lot of college fun.  I called my boss personally and told him everything. He was glad yet befud
Post a Comment
Read more

FDI in Indian economy

FDI means foreign direct investment. When investors from foreign countries invest in other countries, it results into this transaction. Like every transaction, we have merits and demerits for FDI in India. Indian economy is at $2 trillion size currently and target is to achieve $10 trillion within 10 years. Can FDI will help in this or not? Talking about India's theory or perception on FDI, different groups have different views. After liberalization in 1991, we have permitted FDI in different sectors in 2000 + years or era. Now we have 49% FDI in defense, 100% in multi brand retail,, 100% in railways and many more, but still we have lot of sectors which are not open to FDI. Reasons are many, let's take on some pros and cons considering Indian economy. Pros: 1. FDI will result into high technology which Indian sectors need very much for innovation. 2. FDI will create jobs, when our 70% of the population is under age of 35. 3. Cheap resources and control on inflation with
Post a Comment
Read more

Human Resource Management & Challenges

Human Resource Management (HRM) is one of the critical areas where a lot of startups and established companies are working continuously to increase an efficiency of the whole cycle of hiring, training, giving performance appraisals, managing work atmosphere & disputes, developing relations and retaining employees. The year 2017 will see a lot of changes in work style of Human resources people. Traditionally, HRM was all about hiring people, but now it is a whole system which plays important role in growth and performance of any business. Recently, companies have started seeing HR as a part of a business and not just a paperwork department. Accordingly, they are facing challenges as well in improving the performance of processes of HRM. One of the major challenges is changing in the definition of work. Employees look for flexibility in working hours, engagement of work could be short as well these days, demand based employment is on the rise and talent management is becom
Post a Comment
Read more